Rogue CNN Chapter 4: Has the US government become a reality show?

((Rogue CNN exists in a parallel universe to ours where a property developer and reality TV star gets elected President))
This was perhaps the most difficult press conference to date for new White Press Secretary Michael Strauss. Not only was he dealing with the Trump nine-day trip overseas and the fall out there but also the continued fall out of the Russia Affair. At today’s press briefing in the White House he fielded a number of difficult questions but as always was honest with the press.

Rogue CNN: “Is it true at the NATO meeting that the President pushed or shoved Prime Minister Milo Dukanovic of Montenegro? And is it true that the Prime Minister contacted the police over what he called “an assault”?

Strauss: “Look guys what’s a little pushing and shoving among friends? We all do it when we are out for a beer…the President had been missing a little personal contact as Bette Midler said so -so he took it where he could.”
Rogue Washington Post: “Yes we ALL noticed the lack of warmth between the First Lady and the President. Is this why she hasn’t been staying at the White House?

Strauss: “The First Lady is a  fashionista where would you prefer to live New York or Washington? Oh, I forget, none of you have a real life nor a fashion mind of any kind. I gave you all white hats and I don’t see anyone wearing one except me in the room.”

Rogue New York Times: “With the President’s son in law now under investigation for contacts with the Russians what has the White House to say to rumors that he and his firm have been buying land on the black sea next to President Putin’s palace.”

Strauss: “hmm you weren’t meant to find out about that. But it seems you have…..Well it's true and we will be building an another White House which will be known as the Russian White House to go with the Winter White House in Mar a Largo. It should be completed by the beginning of the President's second term with an 18-hole golf course."

"At that point, the president will also begin a major 'renovation' of the Washington White House that will add 12 floors, a high-end interior remodel, luxury suites and a subtle gold décor.  The outside profile will take the shape of a giant 'T'.  He'll then sub-lease all that to politically and financially connected investors from overseas and Wall Street.  The profits should be huge.”

Rogue CNN: “What!!! Who is paying for all this?”

Strauss: “Well when the sanctions have been taken away from Russia by Congress the Russians have offered to pay. Seems fair to me. They will benefit with lots of extra billions from selling oil and the President will get two brand-new homes one next to one of his best friends Vladimir.”

Rogue CBS: “IS there any truth to the rumor that the President will be meeting ‘friends’ while in Sicily who helped fund his casinos? “

Strauss: “Very funny. The President has many friends and if you guys remember so did JFK and Sinatra some of them have an interesting and colorful family tree.”

Back in the studio:  Wolf panel what do you make of this:

David Gergen: “We may not like what we hear but what a refreshing Press Secretary he doesn’t try and mislead just tells it as it is.”

We welcome back to Van Jones…how are you feeling? “Great Wolf thanks! But I’m a little worried that we are being too rough on President Trump. After all he got the greatest electoral colleague vote in the history of the United States. We should recognize his amazing intellect and vision.”

Wolf: “Are you sure you are all right? This doesn’t sound like you.”

Van Jones: I feel the old Van Jones misunderstood the greatness of Trump.”

The panel looks at Van Jones in stunned silence.

Wolf:” We need to take a short break and work out what has happened to “our Van Jones”. But before we go Kayleigh to do you have something to say on the election in Montana.

“I want to say I haven’t changed my mind over Greg Gianforte now he has been elected to Congress. I want to restate by saying what this man did, if it is what we all think, it is outrageous. I will get a step farther than House Speaker Paul Ryan and say, if he's elected and he's proven to be true, he should step down and there should be another election. President Trump has said all throughout the campaign, in a March interview alone, he said, I do not condone violence, I do not condone violence. He said it a third time, I do not condone violence. and all people who condemn violence. Now the Republican leadership have to show their backbone.”

Wolf: "Kayleigh are you alright?"

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3