Rogue CNN Chapter 3: The storm clouds gather

((Rogue CNN exists in a parallel universe to ours where a property developer and reality TV star gets elected President))
While the President is abroad on his nine-day trip Washington is a whirlwind with so many stories that broke in the days before he left. It was for the media and the general public exhausting.

At the top of the mountain of stories was “had the President obstructed justice with comments about former FBI Director to the Russian Foreign Minister and Ambassador and assumed Russian spy chief in Washington”. And if it wasn’t bizarre enough that his administration is being investigated for potential collusion with Russia he is seemingly telling the Russians:

"I just fired the head of the FBI. He was crazy, a real nut job," Trump said, according to the Times. "I faced great pressure because of Russia. That's taken off." 

Well that prompted Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein to appoint Robert S. Mueller III, a former prosecutor who served as the FBI director from 2001 to 2013, to take over the investigation as a special counsel. This has been welcomed by both sides and until a Thursday morning Trump tweet storm the President himself.

Fielding questions on this at the White House Press Briefing was White House Press Secretary Michael Strauss is his iconic white hat:

Rogue CNN asked Strauss: “Is it true you guys are lawyering up? And is it true some have already been pilfering mementos from the White House to pay for the lawyers? Some have been seen over the last few days being sold on e-bay.”

Strauss: “Look guys you know it is prudent to take legal advice and this costs a lot of money for us civil servants.  Contrary to public opinion, we’re paid far less than a mid-level hedge fund manager. Do you realize I still have Spicer living on my couch since he was kicked out? He had nowhere to go and couldn’t even put a deposit down on a new apartment. Ive no idea how he will afford legal counsel. Give us all a break!!”

Asked by the Rogue Washington Post if it was true that Trump had given to the Saudi King, as a reciprocal present to the medal he had been given, a framed picture of the counties he had won in the 2016 election with the inscription – the greatest election victory in American history and signed it.Strauss: 

“Look I don’t know where you are getting your news from – obviously, those press on Air Force One aren’t that observant. No, he didn’t give the King a framed picture of the counties he had won in the 2016 election. He gave every member of the Saudi Royal Family one and that’s 15,000 people. He had writer’s cramp after the flight.”

Rogue CNN coming back to the issue of lawyers. “Is it true that the Russian Ambassador made a suggestion of who Trump should consider taking on for legal counsel?”

Strauss: “The Russians were very helpful in the oval office meeting and I can’t divulge what are highly sensitive discussions.
I can confirm that Mr.Grigori Rasputin will be meeting with the President when he returns from his overseas trip to discuss a possible contract.” Strauss went on to say:

“Can I give you a quick update on my potential new Deputy Press Secretary who will be joining the excellent Sarah Huckabee Sanders. We have three final contestants and will be trying them out in future press conferences and then the selection will be done through a Fox News competition. They are:

Kimberly Guilfoyle from Fox News and who is well known to the general public through currently being one of the co-hosts of The Five on Fox News Channel. recently saying: "I'm a patriot, and it would be an honor to serve the country," 

Laura Ingraham who you know is a Conservative radio talk show personality with a nationally syndicated talk show, The Laura Ingraham Show. And finally, the amazing,

Kayleigh McEnany who has been Trump’s advocate on CNN. Her ability to speed-talk incoherently and thereby totally confuse every issue is absolutely unprecedented. The President loves it!”

Kayleigh is a former Florida resident like Strauss having attended the Academy of the Holy Names, a private Catholic college preparatory school for girls.
Journalists were placing bets on the Rogue CNN “unofficial: bookies hidden web site” on who would get it.

Wolf commented about the three: “Clearly Kimberley is the favourite as she is from Fox and would cement the relationship between them and Trump. I’m sure former Press Secretary and also a member of the Five Dana Perino would be on her speed dial.” Wolf went on to say

“Laura was of course mentioned originally as possible Press Secretary so the chances are she has already gone through vetting. My money is on Kayleigh though. She has been put under pressure every time she appears on CNN and has dealt with it.”

Anderson: “If the current Press Secretary has his way, it would be Ivanka, Strauss thinks it is totally impressive how she always gets journalists to focus on her business or her shoes – and never on substance.”

Wolf “for those of you worried about Van after he exploded in the last show. I can confirm he will be back with us shortly. We managed to scrap some of the DNA up and due to the recent Presidential Order, that allows cloning we have a new Van being grown to maturity as we speak.”

Chapter 1
Chapter 2